Who Am I?

I am everything you need to keep you smiling, but I am also the nightmare that stops you in your track. I make you feel so good about yourself, but I can also make you feel so bad about yourself you just want the ground to swallow you whole.

On you’re good days I am willing you along. I sometimes make you feel invincible like you can conquer anything. Going out with friends? Not a problem when I have you in good spirits. Do you think you’re doing it alone? No, you’re not, when we’re on a good day I am right there by your side.

I can make you feel energised and make you want to take on a marathon. I can help you move around more and more and get you more involved in physical activities.

I can make you feel good and strong mentally. It’s almost like I’ve given you a new lease of life. Have a target in mind? With me, you will get there.

But on the other hand, I can make you miserable. I can make you feel anxious or even depressed. I can even make loneliness creep in and seclude you from what you love.

When I’m at my worst, you will start to make excuses for not going out with friends, make excuses for why you’re eating that awful takeaway. You may even end up in such a rut you feel you can’t get out of it.

Time will go on and things won’t improve, not unless you can mentally beat me. Beat me so hard that you are on top again. Only when you are on top can we work together and get you what you want. Only then can you start to enjoy life again, start to enjoy days/evening out and enjoy the company of friends and/or family.

If you can beat me at my lowest, you can keep me at my best.

Who am I?

I am Weight Loss.

I am not easy to get along with, especially if you’ve been trying for so long. But believe me, you can get to where you want if you are mentally tough enough.

Clearing Ones Mind

There is one thing I have found this last week really useful and that is the bike.  Having the bike set up in my ‘Dad Cave’ has meant that when I’ve been feeling angry, frustrated or emotional for whatever reason has saved me.  I still need to get on top of my emotions and mental state, but the bike has been a lifesaver recently.

Sign on entry to my Dad Cave
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Boiling Point

I’ve neglected this blog for the last week. I’ve not been in the best place in my head during this time.  Wednesday I hit boiling point and I went off the rails a little.  The usually calm, passive, nothing bothers me person that is me had disappeared for a short time.  An angry, emotional person appeared – enough to the point I had to take a walk to cool off.

Wednesday night was an all-time low for my mood and how I feel.  Never before have I felt so angry, but what makes it worse is I can’t pinpoint as to why.  It doesn’t seem it was a single thing that made my head snap, it must have been an amalgamation of ‘stressors’ that had caused my little episode.

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It’s That Time Of Year…

Not only are people starting to count down to Christmas, shops are getting stocked for Christmas and everyone is whining about Christmas decorations in public places already, but the nights are getting longer and the days shorter.

Along with longer night come cold mornings and just and cold evenings (though so far in the UK this week hasn’t been to bad in the evening).  Last week I started riding in a Windproof Jacket and some Bib Tights, but last week is as far as I got.  I’ve not been out on the bike since Tuesday last week because of a cold.

This time of year is when I start to get colds more and more frequent.  All through Winter I will have a cold from one week to the next, but I try not to let it get in my way.  I still work, I still help out with the kids and around the house, never moaning about having a cold.  I soldier on through where I can, but I can’t face getting out on the bike.  The thought of getting outside and panting while pushing down on those pedals really doesn’t appeal to me right now.  All I want to do is cosy up on the sofa and eat junk food.

It’s not doing any good for me mentally not getting out on the bike.  Right now I am feeling down and demotivated.  The constant headache, the constant snot pouring from my nose and the sore throat is driving me nuts!  All that mixed together means I’m not getting the sleep my body and my head requires at the moment.  Lack of sleep means lack of energy.  Lack of energy means lack of desire to get out on the saddle.  That then leads to me not feeling good about myself and comfort eating.

This last week hasn’t been great for sticking to the Slimming World plan either.  I even missed last nights weigh-in and IMAGE Therapy that I need.  This is a danger zone for me.  Missing a group often leads to me going way off the rails when I’m feeling fit and healthy, image the temptation of just consuming huge numbers of unneeded calories while I’m feeling like I am.  This leads to constant battle in my head.

I depend on my Slimming World group each week to keep me on track, it’s what it’s there for.  Other people in the group are likely the same as me, it’s routine and it’s required in order to keep that weight figure down.  Already today I’ve had a fight with food.  How I feel I just want comfort food; Bread, Chocolate, Crisps.  I don’t want to eat healthy foods right now, but I need to.  I can’t afford to go back to group next week with a huge gain and undo what I’ve achieved already.  I also know from previous experience that if I start to eat unhealthily because I’m not feeling great, I start to feel worse.  I start to feel depressed that I’ve given into myself, that I wasn’t strong enough to no to that take away or that sharing size bag of crisps.

This is where the Slimming World group comes in.  It gives me a new lease of life each week through my ‘life style change’.  It gives me the motivation to keep going for the next week and make the better choices.  I’m missing that now this week.  I’m sat here writing this thinking but there is a group tonight or tomorrow nearby, but I’ve a really bad cold and I don’t want to go coughing and sharing germs around other people – they certainly wouldn’t approve of it.  It’s an excuse, it really is, but it’s the time of year that colds are more common and we should be doing what we can to stop spreading them.  I’m working from home today as I don’t want to be responsible for other people in the office getting the strain of cold I have.

Physically I’m exhausted, mentally I’m tired.  I just have to keep reminding myself of the long game here.  I want to shed that weight so I can get that new bike and carry on with what I’ve found I’m really enjoying.  This cold can’t stop me achieving that, it can only set me back.  But I don’t want a set back, I want to keep going forward.  I’m going to keep drinking fluids, I’m going to try my best to keep to healthier foods.  I’m not going to give into temptation just because I feel down and tired, I can do this.