Putting It Behind Me

If I cast myself to this time last week I was buzzing.  I had lost weight for 3 weeks running and was starting to make a nice little run of decent weight losses.  I’d lost 11 lbs in 3 weeks and was feeling good about myself.  Not only had I had a good run of results, but I was 2 lbs off that next award, 2 stones.

This week went to pot from the start though.  As I posted yesterday Halloween was not good for me.  Yes, I’ve literally taken sweets from my daughter and you can judge all you want.  But the fact is I am as big as I am because of bad habits with food that I have allowed to run me for years.  Now bad habits don’t just stop overnight.  I’ve tried and failed multiple times to lose weight, but in reality, the habits keep winning.  I’m not the only person who feels like this, there are lots of overweight people in the world likely feeling exactly as I do (yes, that is an assumption).

The fact is I’m addicted to bad food, just like an alcoholic is addicted to alcohol or a smoker is addicted to nicotine/tobacco.  I need to beat this addiction and for the last few weeks, I have been doing.  I relapsed this week and it has shown on the scales.  I knew to go into the group it would be a gain this week, just a feeling in the pit of my stomach after knowing what I chose to eat for the last 7 days.  The damage… 2.5 lbs gained.

2.5lbs gain – expected it this week

My Slimming World Consultant was kind, she knew I hadn’t had a good week this last week because I had stopped posting in the closed Facebook Group.  When I’m on it, I’m constantly sharing in there what I’m eating, showing new things I’ve experimented with and made, sharing ideas for others who may be struggling themselves.  Out of 21 meals in the last week, I think I shared about 4 – not a lot and it was noticeable to my consultant.

All I’ve got to do now is move on and put last week behind me (hence the title of this post).  I really feel that I want to dwell on the disappointment and guilt of not staying on the plan last week.  I really want to think it couldn’t be helped.  But in reality, it could be helped.  I didn’t have to eat those sweets, I didn’t have to have a takeaway, I didn’t have to stray from the plan.  One of the key things to weight loss is planning and there was none last week.  But from tomorrow the next 7 days will be planned out… breakfast, lunch, and dinner.

Planning in advanced keeps me on track.  It’s like giving me instructions for each day which I know I need to follow.  I know that if I deviate from said instructions I won’t get what I want in the long runs, to be a slimmer dad, husband, and person.  Being fat doesn’t only affect me, it affects those around me, so again, I have to put last week behind me.

3 thoughts on “Putting It Behind Me”

  1. Brother, you can judge me for thinking I judged you if you wish (see how that works?), but that’s not what I was getting at (judging you) at all. I can understand your seeing it that way, though, because I made the mistake of not explaining myself well enough to begin with, and that’s a big flaw of mine. In this case, I expected you to understand something that most normal people can’t grasp because they don’t live like we recovering alcoholics do – and I was happy to see that you likened your predicament to being an alcoholic (there are a lot of similarities, indeed – both in disease and recovery).

    Where recovering alcoholics differ from normal people is that when we sober up, we are taught to live a life of “rigorous honesty”. There is no shame in drinking, it’s kind of what we do, but we must be mindful of WHY we drink or we’ll continue to relapse ad absurdum. That’s exactly what you’re describing in yourself, by the way, you’re caught in a relapse cycle. So, in my case, to keep from relapsing, rather than setting myself up to fail, simply because a Holiday is coming up (as you did), I would recognize that I’ve got a rocky time coming up and I would increase AA meetings and call people in my support network so they could help me to avoid the relapse.

    I wasn’t shaming you about raiding your daughter’s candy – I was, feebly, trying to get you to honestly look at your behavior so that you can use it to your advantage next time, rather than use it to your demise, as you did this time.

    The point is, you knew you were going to fail in advance of the failure and you did nothing to stop it (this is that rigorous honesty again). Next time you start having trouble, talk to some like minded people BEFORE the relapse. Chances are you won’t have to relapse at all. That’s how it works for me.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. OH! And one more thing. Don’t put it behind you. Remember this. Fear is a good thing, used wisely. Remember how you felt digging into your kid’s candy (I’ve felt that same way -different circumstances, same emotion). You don’t ever have to feel that way again, you don’t ever have to start over again, as long as you don’t reach into that bag again…

    That’s how I quit smoking, by the way, and how I remain tobacco and nicotine free. I HATED the first month of quitting. As long as I never pick up tobacco, I’ll never have to relive that month again. That’s my motivation.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. It wasn’t only your comment I felt judged by. My blog gets shared via other social media outlets and there were some comments else where that made me feel more judged than anything you said. People at work sometimes judge me (now some have found my little blog) and they often don’t see how eating food (especially the wrong foods in my case) is like an addiction.

    But what you’ve highlighted here is bang on the mark. I knew there would be chocolate and stuff in the house last week and I did nothing leading up to it. I probably thought I’d be able to just deal with it, but I didn’t. Christmas is going to be a big challenge for me, but I’ve already decided we’re not having the usual treats and stuff. I’m also going to reach out to others from my Slimming World Group to talk to if I need to in advance too. You’ve given me a couple of good tips there!


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